remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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