it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
