just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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