I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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