Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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