i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
