So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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