Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
