Just cropdusted the office
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
