I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
