Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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