K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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