Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Found the puke drawer
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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