I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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