So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize