Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
