i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
