I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
