I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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