Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says