she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
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And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.