Got a toothbrush?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
