Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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