He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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