Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
