I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
