one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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