I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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