It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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