She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
