Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
