what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
