I didn't shave. On purpose
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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