Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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