No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I cockslap morals
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.