i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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