There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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