I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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