Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
