i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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