He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
