Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
