All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
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let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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