What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Someone shattered a urinal.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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