we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
