Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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