i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
