Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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