just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
