Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
