Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
