why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he quoted the bible to break up with me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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