As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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