My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
