Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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