After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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