You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
