Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
