You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
