he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.