sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Do vagina's smell?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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