I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
